last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
