That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
