Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
