Dual....:-)
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
