I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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