If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We don't watch enough power rangers
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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