im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we're making bets on your personal life
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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