I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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