I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
