never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
