someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Operation Purity has been aborted
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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