so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
