i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
