im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
