three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
