Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
