I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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