The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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