Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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