is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
