apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
