Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
