I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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