I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
