he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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