Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
why do cheetos always look like penises
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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