He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
