Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
