I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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