Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How does it feel to date your dad?
tell me about the eggs
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
