i just had sex bonerless
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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