Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
