i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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