I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
