You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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