i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
