it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we're chasing vodka with high fives
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
