life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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