So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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