...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
