It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
