We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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