There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
