She said her name was "party"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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