I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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