Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
