I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
