my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
