Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
