I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
