it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
