i permit you to call me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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