i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
