Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
there is glitter all over my balls
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
