i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
