There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
